Beyond Nice
The stereotype of the Canadian personality is described as polite, tactful and peace-loving. We are known to apologize despite not being at fault and to say "eh" a lot. We wear toques and love hockey and curling.
I have been noticing my Canadian vibe lately. It is distinct from other cultures. I love the Canadian sense of humor, our gentle self deprecation and the laid back sense of space.
And I have been noticing the limitations, the nice-ness. We are wonderful gymnasts of tolerance, able to bend and twist ourselves in order to keep the peace. We are quietly and politely superior to others, never offensive about it, of course, because we are far better than those cultures who are obnoxiously superior.
I recently had the privilege of attending a training full of people from all over the world. I love hanging out in spaces that are diverse and playful. It stretches my own limited points of view and lets me see that there are other ways of being in the world.
I was partnered with a woman who had no "nice" vibe to her. She was kind and fierce and very clear about what worked for her and what didn't. She was not in any way rude. She was clear. She was very present not only with me but with herself as well. When she laughed at something I said, I knew it was because it was really funny not because she was being polite. I loved it. It was so easy to be with and gave me massive permission to choose what worked for me, not what I felt obligated to. I have been using her as inspiration in my own life.
I am stepping out into being kind enough to know for myself what works for me and to ask for it, to choose it. Sometimes I do that with an awkward stumble as I play with this new potency of being clear and direct. Sometimes I do it with elegance and ease, declining what doesn't appeal and choosing what does in a way that includes everyone.
It's a relief and powerful place to create from.
Does this actually work for me?
What would work for me?
What could I choose in this situation that would include me?
xo Linda